


you're in a car with a beautiful boy

by labeledbones



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 12:45:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13295166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labeledbones/pseuds/labeledbones
Summary: You remember the first time you ever rode in a car with him, a car he was driving, a car that smelled like him.aka ~900 words about riding in cars with boys.





	you're in a car with a beautiful boy

**Author's Note:**

> [*Heavily* influenced by this bit of Richard Siken's poem "You Are Jeff."](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/221968-you-re-in-a-car-with-a-beautiful-boy-and-he) Because I randomly picked up my copy of _Crush_ tonight and read that part and immediately sat down and vomited this nonsense up, so here you go.

You remember the first time you ever rode in a car with him, a car he was driving, a car that smelled like him. You remember the car was littered with artifacts from his life: crumpled receipts, a few scattered toys of Harper’s, an empty gym bag in the back seat. 

Liz had sent the two of you on an errand, more beer, more liquor, more people had shown up for dinner than they’d planned for. You didn’t need to go with him, not really, but he’d made some excuse about needing more hands and you’d volunteered like ‘sure might as well.’ 

You remember his hands on the steering wheel, his right leg as he shifted from the gas to the brake, his eyes on the road, checking his rearview mirror, looking over at you at red lights. You remember him being beautiful as the shadows of trees passed over his face. You remember the radio playing some pop song neither of you recognized but the hook made you feel like you could live forever. You remember wanting to sing but not knowing the words. 

You got the beer. You got the liquor. You put it all in the back of the car, climbed back in, reluctant and not wanting to pull your leg all the way in, to close the door. You looked over at him as he put the key in the ignition: the way he grinned at you as the engine turned over, the way the quiet rumbling of the car seemed to exist inside of your body. “We’ll take the long way back,” he’d said, reading your mind as he’d done so many times before. 

You remember the long way back: the jacaranda trees, the dead and dying palms, the sun sinking and turning the sky orange and pink. You remember rolling down the window and breathing in and in and in and in. You remember his laugh as your head tilted back against the headrest, feeling the warm breeze on your skin. You remember slowly opening your eyes when the car stopped, finding him watching you. You remember the car moving again, the heartbreak of him looking away. 

When you got to the turn that would take you back to the house, he turned the other way. You didn’t say anything, but you smiled and you thought _love love love_. He said, “I know a longer way.” You said, “Won’t Liz be mad?” He shook his head, eyes soft, and you wondered if there was something you were missing.

You remember the sky growing darker and darker still. You remember the turns he took seeming random, wandering, aimless. You remember the stars coming out and wondering how you could see so many of them so close to the city. You remember the ocean, suddenly right next to you, the moon hanging low, enormous, bright, ready to swallow you up. You remember feeling so goddamn romantic that you wanted to say those words out loud ( _i love you_ ), but instead you turned the radio to a country song and let the wind through the open window do what it wanted with your hair, let it take your laughter wherever it wanted, hoped it would take your heart too. 

Eventually, he said, “We need to get back.” You couldn’t argue even though you felt like there was nothing to get back to, there was nothing else. Just you and him and this car and this road and this night. You said, “I guess we do.” 

You remember the drive back: the radio turned off, the windows rolled up, his eyes looking straight ahead. You remember his hand, leaving the wheel and touching your face like a devotion, passing through your hair like a consolation. You remember turning to face the window, the dark blue sky, the landscape turning familiar again as you got closer and closer, back to where you started. 

You said, “What if we didn’t?” His phone in the center console was lighting up, Liz saying _where are you guys?? :) :)_ He said, a ghost of a smile, his way of warning you,“Didn’t what?” You shook your head, a familiar street name letting you know just how close you were to losing this. You said, “Never mind.” 

You remember the house lit up in the dark, voices spilling out from the backyard, music on the stereo. You remember sitting in the passenger seat after he’d gotten out of the car, hearing him open the back and start pulling out cases of beer. You remember his voice calling up to you, “Timmy? Little help?” You remember looking over your shoulder at him, how he was mostly a silhouette in the darkened driveway, how he was mostly the gleaming whites of his eyes, how he was mostly gone. You remember finally stepping out of the car, your foot touching the driveway, grounding you back in reality. 

You helped him carry it all inside. The friends that had shown up while you were gone cheered you like returning war heroes. You heard Nick saying as he brandished a bottle of tequila, “You go all the way to Mexico for this or what?” And Armie just smiling, glancing over at you, “Something like that.” 

You remember the first time you ever rode in a car with him. You remember the long way back. You remember going nowhere. You remember going everywhere. You remember him at the wheel, his foot on the gas, the road unfurling in front of you.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, [find me on Tumblr](http://elio-bonerman.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
